It all started a year ago today...

I could not end my day here without remembering how this journey began one year ago today. On May 21, 2008, Steven Curtis and Mary Beth Chapman lost their precious 5 year old daughter, Maria, in a tragic accident at their home. God used this event and the Chapman's honest grief and bold faith in the midst of their darkest hour to draw me closer to Himself...and thus my journey to this, our newest calling, began. In a tribute to this precious family whom we now have the privilege to call 'friends'...I share with you here the poem God put on my heart for Mary Beth, written on October 21, 2008. I hope it will encourage you and show you the depth of God's love for each of us as His children. He has a plan for us...even in our darkest hour...and He WILL redeem our suffering.

Journey to God’s Heart

How do I dare let you know,
That your pain has helped me to grow?
It seems so incredibly unfair,
That, for me, you had to walk there.

No words are enough for you now.
How I long for your pain to be gone.
I’d take it away in a moment,
Yet, with Christ, you were never alone.

Shared tears, yet I don’t really know you.
‘ Bearing your burdens’ — is that what this is?
God’s love pouring out through me…
Are the tears I have cried actually HIS?

It is true that we all are ONE body,
So it fits that your pain would be mine.
A mystery beyond understanding.
Through our tears, Christ is most able to shine.

You showed me the splendor of Jesus.
You were faithful to Him in the dark.
I will never be the same, so I thank you
for my journey to the center of God’s heart.

Written to Mary Beth Chapman and family October 21, 2008.


©Beth Hamilton, 12/29/2008

Steven and Mary Beth...what a privilege to know you and to SEE all that God is doing in and through you and your entire family. May God continue to carry you all and hold you close! We love you because HE loves you!

Hooray! We have a COURT DATE!

We are thrilled to let you know that we officially have our first court date (and hopefully our last!). God-willing, on June 10, three precious ones from Ethiopia will legally become Hamiltons! Woo! Hoo! For this step, our agency (not us) will appear in Ethiopian court on our behalf and should the judge look upon our case favorably...we will become the legal guardians of N (boy, age 7), K (boy, age 4) and K (girl, age 6 months)...and the Hamilton family will officially be SEVEN! Incredible. Exciting. Humbling. Once we pass court, we can share their beautiful Ethiopian faces and names with you here on this blog! If we do pass court June 10, we are anticipating traveling to bring them home in early August!



We would covet your prayers for this court date as many families do NOT pass court on the first try...for various reasons. Please pray specifically for the following:



Regarding our court date/travel dates:

-that the family members and witnesses required would be able to appear in court

-that all the necessary paperwork will be there and perfectly in order

-that the judge will look favorably upon our case

-that the power would stay on (I'm serious...)

-that no unforseen hurdles would appear

-that upon passing court that God would clear the way to bring our children home quickly...in His perfect timing.



Regarding our ET children:

-that they would KNOW the love of Jesus through their amazing caregivers at our agency's transition home.

-that God is preparing their hearts to be a part of the Hamilton family. :) It's gonna be a WILD ride, little ones!

-that they would have peace and excitement (even in the midst of their grief) about this HUGE transition in their lives. (They have known for about 4 weeks that they have a family in America!)

-that God would give their family members deep peace about their decision to place them for adoption...to KNOW that He has amazing plans for these children...to give them a hope and a future...



Regarding our home:

-that God would allow us to put the necessary time and effort into preparing our home (and our hearts) for these little ones!

-that we would not be overwhelmed with the physical and emotional tasks before us...but would enjoy the 'miracles of each moment' with M & M as we all four prepare to receive our newest family members!

-that M&M's excitement will continue to build as we prepare our home and approach our travel dates.



Regarding others who are on this path of Ethiopian adoption:

-peace and perseverence for our fellow sojourners who have failed court (some multiple times)

-that the new 'abandonment'/potential fraud issues would be handled wisely, yet as quickly as possible, by the Ethiopian government

-that no other crises will happen to slow down the work God is doing in placing orphans in loving families.



THANK YOU all for your continued prayers and support. This is a bumpy path with many potholes, turns and twists...your prayers have kept us on track and somewhat sane! :) Below is a pic of Madi (sporting her new cool glasses) with the care packages we recently sent to our children by another family traveling to Ethiopia. (sorry, had to blot out names and photos...) It was so fun to prepare the gifts, picture and notes for our brothers and sister!


So, that's it for now...we are taking it one day at a time and we can't wait to sit back and WATCH OUR GREAT GOD at WORK! "Greater things are yet to come....greater things are still to be done in this CITY!"

Taking The PLUNGE!

"As soon as Simon Peter heard him say, 'It is the Lord,' he wrapped his outer garment around him (for he had taken it off) and JUMPED into the water." John 21:7

Late last week as Mike and I wrestled with the decision before us regarding whether or not we would say "yes" to three (yes, 3!!) precious children from Ethiopia...Mike used this analogy: "I feel like I'm standing on the edge of the pool on a really hot day. I want to jump in but I know the water will be shocking and uncomfortable at first...but I also know that once I'm in the water a short time it will be the most refreshing thing ever! I'm so close to the edge...I'm just afraid to jump." His words described my heart EXACTLY. So, there we were...standing on the edge together...our hearts afraid to jump but also afraid not to.

We awoke the next morning...the day we had to give our agency our answer...and our devotional verse for the day (Oswald Chambers) was the verse above..."and (Peter) JUMPED into the water!" Can you believe that? Crazy? YES! But why should that surprise us on this our craziest of journeys? We continued to wrestle and pray throughout the day as our hearts shifted back and forth from fear to peace (quite the spiritual battle!) until 4pm when I received the following text from my courageous husband, "Call at your convenience. Tell them (the agency) that we're in. Hold my hand and let's jump!"

So, after almost 3 weeks of intense prayer and counsel, we are thrilled to announce that we HAVE accepted a referral from our adoption agency for THREE precious children! They are a sibling group ages 7, 4 and almost 5 months. Yes, a baby, too! We are awaiting our court date (which will finalize the adoptions) and hope to travel to Ethiopia in mid to late summer to bring these children home.

We are excited and scared but most of all in awe of what an amazing, loving and BIG God we serve! We are humbled that He would trust us with such precious cargo (FIVE children!) yet we know that 'apart from Him, we can do NOTHING" John 15:5 He will be our sufficiency!

Thank you for your prayers...please continue to pray that God will prepare our home and hearts to receive these children! We can't wait for all of you to meet the soon-to-be newest Hamiltons.

(By the way, this photo is of Madison and her cousin, Kimberly, jumping in the pool last summer in Sedona, Arizona! Awesome, huh?)

"You're messy...but I love you."

"But God demonstrates His own love for us in this:

While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5:8

• To be honest, these words..."You're messy, but I love you." were actually spoken by me--NOT to Matthew and his cousin Harper when they went mud-sliding in our yard, pictured above--but to our dog, Rubie, who is truly the ultimate mud-magnet on rainy days. :) (You have NO idea!) Yet, as the words came out of my mouth, I could so hear my sweet Jesus whispering the same words to me..."you're messy, Beth...but I love you!" I then actually repeated this interchange out loud to my children...because I think we cannot hear it enough. God KNOWS we are messy and sinful and selfish and afraid and rebellious...He knows it all...yet, He loves us so. INCREDIBLE.
• In this Easter season we are asked to be more aware of our sin and more aware of what Jesus did on the cross to pay the penalty for all our sin...past, current and future. It is a good and right thing to be aware of our sin...but ONLY in the embrace of His amazing love can we honestly deal with our sin. Looking at our 'mess' without knowing and believing in His love brings only futile attempts to hide or earn his love...which only leads to hopelessness. We must believe the truth: It is finished. He has done the work. Hallelujah!
• As for our adoptions...all I can say right now is that God IS at work. Please pray for us all as God prompts. May he grant us ears to hear, eyes to see and most importantly, hearts to trust Him as His plan unfolds.

Love and Peace,

Beth

• P.S. I, like others, cannot seem to figure out spacing on Blogger...crazy!

Labor of Love

"We love because He first loved us." 1 John 4:19

At last! We are finished with our paper chasing! Hooray! And, thank You, Jesus! We received our USCIS (Immigration) approval on Friday and today, our dossier is headed to our agency. So, it's officially out of our hands and into God's (although we know it has truly never been in our hands, but His!) Now comes "The WAIT". Our dossier should be in Ethiopia within 2-3 weeks and we will officially be on the list to recieve our children. As the Lord prompts, please pray for wisdom for the agency staff in Ethiopia to know the children God has planned before the beginning of time to add to our family. It is so exciting!

The photo above is literally ALL the papers we have been waiting on, collecting, notarizing, tracking down and photocopying for the last 6 months...and it has been a true "labor of love." Just as we experienced in our first two adoptions, the love God has placed in our hearts for these children has allowed this process to be...can I really say it?...enjoyable. Some weeks...nothing happened. Other weeks...we were a flurry of activity. But truly...it has not been overly stressful or burdensome...and I can only attribute that to God's grace...and your prayers! (Thank you!)

As we have been making all these efforts to track down documents, go to the doctor for physicals, get fingerprints, meet with social workers, write letters, get signatures notarized (will I ever sign my name again without a witness?), complete 10 hours of on-line adoption training, read 5 books (required), crunching financial numbers, not to mention beginning to clean out closets, shop for new bedspreads, furniture, thinking about toys, books and clothes...it occurred to me that our children on the other side of the world have NO idea what is occuring RIGHT NOW to ensure that they have a loving, safe and secure future!! Yet does the fact that they don't KNOW what is being done on their behalf make it any less TRUE? (of course not!) As this reality settled into my heart, the Holy Spirit whispered..."just like you don't know all the amazing things your Heavenly Father is doing to make sure you have a loving, safe and secure future, Beth!" WOW! I can tend to worry and doubt that God is working on my behalf because I cannot SEE His hand all the time...yet ultimately I must choose to trust and believe that "in all things God works for the good of those who love Him..." Romans 8:28 This also brings to mind Jeremiah 29:11 " 'For I know the plans I have for you', delcares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.' " He knows the plans...and I know Him...that should be enough to give me peace! Oh, that I would continually put all my hope in His unfailing love and care!

Okay, enough preaching...for now! :) I just thought that was a really cool 'picture' of how God is caring for each of us even when we cannot see it with our eyes. "Now faith is being SURE of what we hope for and CERTAIN of what we do not see." Hebrews 11:1 May God grant us all that kind of faith!

We love you and thank you for your prayers, words of encouragement and support! We are so glad you want to walk this journey with us!

We will keep you posted! :)

Carried

"In His love and mercy He redeemed them. He lifted them up and carried them..."

Isaiah 63:9

This picture (taken of MSH and his good buddy, CP, at the Science Museum in Nashville over New Years) reminds me of how we feel most of the time right now...picked up and carried along toward God's purposes. I am so thankful that God straps us in! :)

On the adoption front, we have officially sent in our home study to USCIS (US Department of Immigration and Homeland Security) and are awaiting our formal approval. Once that comes...we will have our dossier complete and all of our paperwork will be on its way to Ethiopia! Then, we simply wait (sounds easy, huh?!) until our agency sends us a 'referral' which means photos, background and a time to pray for God's leading. Though I cannot imagine saying 'no' to any children...we know we must be prayerful in our decisions and we trust fully that God will make His desires known to us. He already knows our children and He will reveal that to us in His perfect timing. Once we say 'yes' to our referral, we would likely travel within 8 to 12 weeks after that. Though it could still be months and months away...we are getting so very excited!

This weekend we will be attending our first gathering of the East TN Yahoo group of families who have adopted or who are in the process of adopting children from Ethiopia. I think there will be easily 30 families there! It will be wonderful to meet these people who will become a part of our 'community' and will bring great comfort to our new children when they arrive! Please pray we will make the connections God intends us to have...and that our children will enjoy the time with all the other children.

Otherwise, we are plugging along with life as usual. School, church, ministry, soccer, UT sports, friends, planning summer vacation, and house projects (project #1: Madison's decor for her 'new' room...she will officially move into Steph's room in May.) Life is busy, but manageable...we are more 'settled' than we've been in a long time...of course, it may be the 'calm before the storm!' Though I still KNOW it will take a miracle to manage all the change that is coming, I am starting to be able to actually picture it in my mind...which is so sweet! Thank you all for your prayers and notes of encouragement! We have felt them in amazing ways.

I'm posting a few more photos from our Christmas break below...just for fun!

MSH (the tallest!) and some buddies (with siblings) at the downtown Knoxville movie theatre!

MGH and her good friend, LP, playing games (after showers) at hotel in Nasvhille.

MGH and best friend, SS, with a handsome little buddy from church.

The gang's all here. Our great friends and us at our hotel in Nashville for New Years!

new year. new dream. new crazy.

"But, I trust in You, O Lord. I say, 'You are my God.' My times are in Your hands." Psalm 31: 14-15a


Happy New Year! And welcome to those of you who just discovered our blog after receiving our New Year's card! In an effort to save paper (and time), we didn't go into all the 'news' on our card...but wanted you to be able to hear what God is doing in our family...so we sent you here...to blog-land! Blogging is still quite new and different to us, but seems to be a good way to keep everyone updated on the latest happenings.

Now, for the news...

new year...2009 will see the Hamilton family grow (in heart and in numbers)

new dream...God is sending us to Ethiopia to bring home TWO children!

new crazy...did you read that last line? 'nuff said!


So, there it is...crazy...amazing...incredible. We are still in awe of God's hand in our lives this past year and can't wait to see all that He has planned for the days to come. If you want to read about our journey...there are several older posts that explain much of how we arrived to the decision to pursue adding to our family through international adoption. "The Journey" dated November 2008 and "Welcome to Our New Crazy" dated October 2008 will be the most helpful in catching you up. Just keep scrolling down until you find the one you want.

For those of you who aren't new to our blog...or who just want to hear the latest... here it is:

Our Paperwork
We have finished our home study (hooray!) and are awaiting the final draft from our agency. That should come this week. The home study will then be sent to USCIS/Dept. of US Immigration for approval. This could take 6+weeks. During that time, we will finalize all of our documents for our 'dossier' which is a fancy word for the paperwork that Ethiopia (or any foreign country) requires for us to be approved. As I understand it, once we receive USCIS approval, our agency will send our 'dossier' to Ethiopia and we will be officially 'on the waiting list'. The wait time has been quoted as anywhere from 3 to 12 months...based on the availability of children who 'match' our request. We are prayerfully asking for two children (not necessarily biological siblings): a boy (aged 6-8) and a girl (aged 2-4). This is where our hearts are today...but certainly God could 'tweak' the details as we go along. We feel confident that He will bring our children to us in His perfect timing...so it's a matter of trusting and waiting to see His amazing plan unfold.

Our Hearts
Soft. Malleable. Excited. Scared. Overwhelmed. Amazed. In Awe. I think we've felt every emotion imaginable on this journey and if you happen to bump into me on any given day and I look like I've been crying...I probably have! My tears come unannounced and at unpredictable times...more evidence that God has literally taken over my heart! Yesterday, during communion at church, our pastor's daughter (who is white) was holding the precious 6-month old daughter of an African couple (I believe they are from Kenya...and students at UT) who attend our church. I looked up, took that beautiful sight in...and the waterworks began. I simply cannot believe that God would trust ME with the privilege to love on these precious ones who are coming from such a broken, hard place. And I continue to believe with all I am that in sending us to 'rescue these little ones from their hard, broken place', God is in fact, rescuing us from our own hard, broken place of self-focus, busyness and spending ourselves on things that will not last. "See, I am making all things new!” Rev. 21:5 And in case you are tempted to think we are ‘great people’ for doing this…you MUST know…this is ALL God…100% His work…for His glory…not one ounce of “us” made this happen because without Him we are too selfish, too busy and too lazy!

Our Children
For those of you praying for our older children (ok…that sounds weird!)…THANK YOU! God has been working in amazing ways in their lives as well...MSH is 110% ready for his brother to come home…(I keep reminding him there is a sister, too…). And his servant heart is coming out, too…he has offered to sacrifice by staying home from school when the children come to teach them English! (Of course, I’m sure this has NOTHING to do with the fact that he hates school …hee!hee! What a smart boy! :) ) But, seriously, he is ready and excited about our family growing.

Our sweet MGH’s heart is softening, too. We have given her great freedom to express her true heart…no pretending allowed…and she has (as usual) taken us up on it. Her response this summer when we first discussed the adoption plans with her was certainly honest…”I think you should do what God is telling you to do…but don’t expect me to like it!” I LOVE HER HONEST, REAL HEART! God is going to use that girl in amazing ways! Recently, she did say to me that she is ‘kinda getting excited about it’ and there is no doubt that she is excited about making the trip to Ethiopia. (She is definitely going with us…we are still praying about MSH making the trip.)

So, thank you again and we would continue to ask for prayer as God forms and reforms our hearts and our family!

If any of you are praying for our children in Ethiopia…please pray for protection, comfort, food to sustain them and above all, the peace of Christ…that they would know deep in their little hearts that God has a plan for their good. I weep now…as I always do when I let my heart think of them. I am sad for their loss. What they have already lost and what they will give up…even in coming to the comforts of America. I weep for their birthfamilies, if they are alive, and for their caregivers…I pray they will know their children are not forgotten, but SEEN by the God who made them and that He is caring for them…even now. I know more than ever that THIS…caring for the ‘least of these’…truly is at the center of God’s heart. And though it is hard and painful to look at…it is beyond beautiful.

So thank you for ‘listening’ and for making the journey with us. We cannot go it alone. Your prayers and words of encouragement are gifts we cherish. I will try to keep updating the blog…but as you can see…I tend to get a little long-winded…so I often procrastinate getting started! We’ll see how it goes…

Until then, I hope you will enjoy these pictures (and one piece of artwork) from our Christmas…

MSH's drawing of his Ethiopian brother!

Gift I gave my husband this Christmas. His old watches that represent all the places he has worked, plus the watch I gave him as a wedding gift (20 years ago!), plus a watch with Ethiopia on it...in a timeline form...with the verse at the beginning of this blog..."My times are in Your hands." Psalm 31:14-15a Totally a Holy-Spirit inspired idea. Pretty cool, if I do say so myself!

The kiddos with cookies and milk for Santa!

MSH and Daddy trying out his new BB gun!

MSH watching over Daddy's shoulder while he opens gifts.

Yes...Santa brought a cell phone. She's been VERY responsible with it so far
...and Mom and Dad are loving texting with her!

Just a little Christmas wrestling...where is your brother?