Carried

"In His love and mercy He redeemed them. He lifted them up and carried them..."

Isaiah 63:9

This picture (taken of MSH and his good buddy, CP, at the Science Museum in Nashville over New Years) reminds me of how we feel most of the time right now...picked up and carried along toward God's purposes. I am so thankful that God straps us in! :)

On the adoption front, we have officially sent in our home study to USCIS (US Department of Immigration and Homeland Security) and are awaiting our formal approval. Once that comes...we will have our dossier complete and all of our paperwork will be on its way to Ethiopia! Then, we simply wait (sounds easy, huh?!) until our agency sends us a 'referral' which means photos, background and a time to pray for God's leading. Though I cannot imagine saying 'no' to any children...we know we must be prayerful in our decisions and we trust fully that God will make His desires known to us. He already knows our children and He will reveal that to us in His perfect timing. Once we say 'yes' to our referral, we would likely travel within 8 to 12 weeks after that. Though it could still be months and months away...we are getting so very excited!

This weekend we will be attending our first gathering of the East TN Yahoo group of families who have adopted or who are in the process of adopting children from Ethiopia. I think there will be easily 30 families there! It will be wonderful to meet these people who will become a part of our 'community' and will bring great comfort to our new children when they arrive! Please pray we will make the connections God intends us to have...and that our children will enjoy the time with all the other children.

Otherwise, we are plugging along with life as usual. School, church, ministry, soccer, UT sports, friends, planning summer vacation, and house projects (project #1: Madison's decor for her 'new' room...she will officially move into Steph's room in May.) Life is busy, but manageable...we are more 'settled' than we've been in a long time...of course, it may be the 'calm before the storm!' Though I still KNOW it will take a miracle to manage all the change that is coming, I am starting to be able to actually picture it in my mind...which is so sweet! Thank you all for your prayers and notes of encouragement! We have felt them in amazing ways.

I'm posting a few more photos from our Christmas break below...just for fun!

MSH (the tallest!) and some buddies (with siblings) at the downtown Knoxville movie theatre!

MGH and her good friend, LP, playing games (after showers) at hotel in Nasvhille.

MGH and best friend, SS, with a handsome little buddy from church.

The gang's all here. Our great friends and us at our hotel in Nashville for New Years!

new year. new dream. new crazy.

"But, I trust in You, O Lord. I say, 'You are my God.' My times are in Your hands." Psalm 31: 14-15a


Happy New Year! And welcome to those of you who just discovered our blog after receiving our New Year's card! In an effort to save paper (and time), we didn't go into all the 'news' on our card...but wanted you to be able to hear what God is doing in our family...so we sent you here...to blog-land! Blogging is still quite new and different to us, but seems to be a good way to keep everyone updated on the latest happenings.

Now, for the news...

new year...2009 will see the Hamilton family grow (in heart and in numbers)

new dream...God is sending us to Ethiopia to bring home TWO children!

new crazy...did you read that last line? 'nuff said!


So, there it is...crazy...amazing...incredible. We are still in awe of God's hand in our lives this past year and can't wait to see all that He has planned for the days to come. If you want to read about our journey...there are several older posts that explain much of how we arrived to the decision to pursue adding to our family through international adoption. "The Journey" dated November 2008 and "Welcome to Our New Crazy" dated October 2008 will be the most helpful in catching you up. Just keep scrolling down until you find the one you want.

For those of you who aren't new to our blog...or who just want to hear the latest... here it is:

Our Paperwork
We have finished our home study (hooray!) and are awaiting the final draft from our agency. That should come this week. The home study will then be sent to USCIS/Dept. of US Immigration for approval. This could take 6+weeks. During that time, we will finalize all of our documents for our 'dossier' which is a fancy word for the paperwork that Ethiopia (or any foreign country) requires for us to be approved. As I understand it, once we receive USCIS approval, our agency will send our 'dossier' to Ethiopia and we will be officially 'on the waiting list'. The wait time has been quoted as anywhere from 3 to 12 months...based on the availability of children who 'match' our request. We are prayerfully asking for two children (not necessarily biological siblings): a boy (aged 6-8) and a girl (aged 2-4). This is where our hearts are today...but certainly God could 'tweak' the details as we go along. We feel confident that He will bring our children to us in His perfect timing...so it's a matter of trusting and waiting to see His amazing plan unfold.

Our Hearts
Soft. Malleable. Excited. Scared. Overwhelmed. Amazed. In Awe. I think we've felt every emotion imaginable on this journey and if you happen to bump into me on any given day and I look like I've been crying...I probably have! My tears come unannounced and at unpredictable times...more evidence that God has literally taken over my heart! Yesterday, during communion at church, our pastor's daughter (who is white) was holding the precious 6-month old daughter of an African couple (I believe they are from Kenya...and students at UT) who attend our church. I looked up, took that beautiful sight in...and the waterworks began. I simply cannot believe that God would trust ME with the privilege to love on these precious ones who are coming from such a broken, hard place. And I continue to believe with all I am that in sending us to 'rescue these little ones from their hard, broken place', God is in fact, rescuing us from our own hard, broken place of self-focus, busyness and spending ourselves on things that will not last. "See, I am making all things new!” Rev. 21:5 And in case you are tempted to think we are ‘great people’ for doing this…you MUST know…this is ALL God…100% His work…for His glory…not one ounce of “us” made this happen because without Him we are too selfish, too busy and too lazy!

Our Children
For those of you praying for our older children (ok…that sounds weird!)…THANK YOU! God has been working in amazing ways in their lives as well...MSH is 110% ready for his brother to come home…(I keep reminding him there is a sister, too…). And his servant heart is coming out, too…he has offered to sacrifice by staying home from school when the children come to teach them English! (Of course, I’m sure this has NOTHING to do with the fact that he hates school …hee!hee! What a smart boy! :) ) But, seriously, he is ready and excited about our family growing.

Our sweet MGH’s heart is softening, too. We have given her great freedom to express her true heart…no pretending allowed…and she has (as usual) taken us up on it. Her response this summer when we first discussed the adoption plans with her was certainly honest…”I think you should do what God is telling you to do…but don’t expect me to like it!” I LOVE HER HONEST, REAL HEART! God is going to use that girl in amazing ways! Recently, she did say to me that she is ‘kinda getting excited about it’ and there is no doubt that she is excited about making the trip to Ethiopia. (She is definitely going with us…we are still praying about MSH making the trip.)

So, thank you again and we would continue to ask for prayer as God forms and reforms our hearts and our family!

If any of you are praying for our children in Ethiopia…please pray for protection, comfort, food to sustain them and above all, the peace of Christ…that they would know deep in their little hearts that God has a plan for their good. I weep now…as I always do when I let my heart think of them. I am sad for their loss. What they have already lost and what they will give up…even in coming to the comforts of America. I weep for their birthfamilies, if they are alive, and for their caregivers…I pray they will know their children are not forgotten, but SEEN by the God who made them and that He is caring for them…even now. I know more than ever that THIS…caring for the ‘least of these’…truly is at the center of God’s heart. And though it is hard and painful to look at…it is beyond beautiful.

So thank you for ‘listening’ and for making the journey with us. We cannot go it alone. Your prayers and words of encouragement are gifts we cherish. I will try to keep updating the blog…but as you can see…I tend to get a little long-winded…so I often procrastinate getting started! We’ll see how it goes…

Until then, I hope you will enjoy these pictures (and one piece of artwork) from our Christmas…

MSH's drawing of his Ethiopian brother!

Gift I gave my husband this Christmas. His old watches that represent all the places he has worked, plus the watch I gave him as a wedding gift (20 years ago!), plus a watch with Ethiopia on it...in a timeline form...with the verse at the beginning of this blog..."My times are in Your hands." Psalm 31:14-15a Totally a Holy-Spirit inspired idea. Pretty cool, if I do say so myself!

The kiddos with cookies and milk for Santa!

MSH and Daddy trying out his new BB gun!

MSH watching over Daddy's shoulder while he opens gifts.

Yes...Santa brought a cell phone. She's been VERY responsible with it so far
...and Mom and Dad are loving texting with her!

Just a little Christmas wrestling...where is your brother?

Bring on the comments!

Hi everyone! Many of you have mentioned to me that you would like to comment, but cannot because you do not have a Blogger account. I do believe I now have (hopefully)opened it up so that anyone (yes, even you!) can comment. Simply select 'anonymous' but be sure to sign your name in the comment so we know it is you!

Thanks...I promise to blog more soon! Christmas craziness is upon us all!

The Journey

"Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know." Jeremiah 33:3


Hi, friends. I have promised many of you that I would share on this blog how this unbelievable journey began. And I want to, but I am resistant. Does the thought of running naked through the streets thrill you? (Okay, if you said, "yes"quickly...I don't want to know about it! LOL!) Anyway, this journey has turned our hearts inside out...in a very profound and very good way...but sharing that with "the world" can be a little intimidating. Yet, I truly sense this is a story that needs to be told because as one dear friend said to me after my sharing with her..."Your story makes God so BIG!" And He IS SO BIG! So, I am compelled to share...

I am also hesitant to share because a major turning point in our story came about because of the tragedy in another family...a family that I did not know personally at the time but was linked to by mutual friends. A family whose pain, honest grieving and true worship in the midst of tragedy placed me on my face before our God where I was seemingly called to grieve for them, interceed for them and have the privilege of seeing them reflect the glory of God during their darkest days. It was truly a sacred place. I want to respect that. I deeply desire to honor their pain. Still, God is teaching me in a profound way that in this fallen world...there is no love without pain...in fact suffering IS heart of the gospel itself. The Joy comes from realizing that He has NOT left us alone in our suffering and that God, in His great mercy, does not waste our suffering but uses every ounce of it for the good of His people and for His glory!

So, that long-winded introduction brings us to the beginning of what I am calling my "summer of tears" (which, in fact, has lasted 6 months now...and continues...) I'm not sure why, but I think we all are afraid of tears...I know my children hate it when I cry...but I keep telling them...tears are not bad...they can be tears of joy or sadness or fear or worship...but they all soften our hearts and take us to the place of being real. (Okay, I'm digressing again...get on with it, Beth!)



May 21, 2008. A seemingly normal day at the Hamilton house. School year winding down, getting ready to travel as a family to Destin for SEC meetings. All the 'normal' craziness. Some 200 miles away, another family was experiencing the most devastating day of their lives. In the driveway of their home, the 5 year old daughter of Steven Curtis and Mary Beth Chapman was accidently struck and killed by a car driven by their 17-year old son. We first heard the news from a text from a mutual friend and then a forwarded email from a pastor at their church in Franklin. We immediately began to pray for this family asking God to meet them and comfort them in their terrible loss.

Normally, I would pray that day...maybe for a few days later and then move on. God had another plan as he drew my heart into a on-going season of praying, grieving and watching. In watching the Chapman’s grief and their worship in the midst of it, I was changed. Drawn into a deeper, sweeter fellowship with my Lord Jesus. Called to pray and weep for this family I didn’t even know time and time again...even in the middle of the night. Drawn to worship my God with greater fervor and passion. Drawn to my own deeper repentance…into a sweet, but intense, refining fire. God had begun a work in me to pray for my marriage and family earlier that year, but this time of grief for another family accelerated my own personal growth and prayer life.

Being drawn into the Chapman’s story took me to their website and ultimately to the gifted writings of Kerry Hasenbalg where God began to prick my heart to care ‘for the least of these’ even as He was pricking my heart to repent for ways I was not loving my family well. Mike and I had talked many times about adopting internationally, but never seriously pursued it and life got busy...and as it often happens, life got in the way. We were ‘comfortable’. Our children were 9 and 12...independent. We were 42 and 45...old! LOL!

As Kerry’s writings pierced my heart and I continued to pray and weep for the Chapmans, a dear friend invited me to the Beth Moore conference in Atlanta, June 27-29. I didn’t really want to go because of an already busy summer travel schedule, but God continued to open doors and made it clear that He intended that I go. How thankful I am that I didn’t miss out on the incredible blessings of that weekend! Intense repentance, incredible worship (like I’ve never known!), and a ‘loud and clear’ message from my God: “You and Mike need to be pursuing Me above all else. I am getting ready to ‘rock your world’. You need to ‘fortify’ your city.”

So I came home with this message and as Mike and I began to pray about how we should be pursuing Jesus, I also asked the question of Mike, “If we were independently wealthy (read: free!) and could minister to any group of people, who would you take care of?” I had not yet mentioned to him my growing heart for orphans...it was still so new to my heart as I had never been open to adopting older children. Yet, his answer was emphatic, “No question. I would give kids who had no home a home.” BIG tears from me...right there in one of the nicest restaurants in Knoxville. "OK, God, You are up to something...and why didn’t I know my husband’s true heart? How blind can I be?"

The next day after ‘the date’, was July 4th. Our friends who come over every July 4th walked into our home and Marisa (who is never late for anything) handed me my birthday present...6 weeks late! A book about orphan care. (She had NO idea of our talk or where God had been leading our hearts...only that we had 2 adopted children and might enjoy the book.) Of course, my tears came again. “God, what are you doing in my heart?”

The next day I emailed a friend who is on my ministry board to ask if she was going to make our next summer book club meeting. She responded that she was planning to, but had not been able to read the book because she had gotten into another book called, “There Is No Me Without You.”. Again, although she knew nothing of our recent thoughts or prayers about orphan care, I immediately knew in my heart that that book, too, was about orphan care. And, amazon.com provided my answer...it was a 400+ page book about orphan care in Ethiopia. “God, we asked you to make it obvious...but really?” I emailed my friend and asked her to PRAY! She ‘ran’ the book right over to me the next morning and before reading it, Mike asked me, “Do you think God wants us to adopt African children?...because both these books are about African children.” I responded, “I don’t think so, I think it is just about orphan care. I’m not sure, but I don’t think so.” (ha,ha,ha,ha...God must have been laughing at my answer.)

I took this 400+ page book on a trip at the end of that week and being the one who NEVER finishes a book unless it’s a novel, thought I would never be able to read it all. In reality, I devoured it and cried most of the way through it (as I had the first book my other friend gave me.). By the middle of the book, I looked at Mike with tears and said, “I only want to adopt children from Ethiopia. My heart is broken for this country and their children.” WOW! I mean it when I tell people that God ‘arrested’ my heart with that book. Mike didn’t need any convincing, as he reminded me that he had brought home a letter from Bethany Christian Services some 6 months before about a sibling group of 3 from Ethiopia that needed a home. Not that he seriously sat me down to discuss it, but after he said it, I remember him commenting on it, and I said, “no way! That’s crazy. I can’t handle the two we have now! “ (Again, God is laughing! He is so AMAZING!)

So, our journey was officially beginning. We continued to pray about it and talk about it and told one another how crazy this was...that God could not really believe that we with our crazy schedule, over-stressed lifestyle, Mike’s demanding career, could handle more children...and older children...and yes, we were thinking TWO additional children. It just did not make any sense...but since when does God’s way make human sense? He did send His Son into the world to a poor family to grow up and die on a cross, didn’t He?

God has continued to cross our paths with people who have adopted from Ethiopia without us pursuing them. One such couple are good friends of my sister and we ended up on the exact same 20 person shuttle bus with them at the Biltmore House amidst thousands of other fans attending Steven Curtis Chapman concert the night of August 1. What are the chances of that? We had a wonderful, encouraging conversation with them right there on the steps of the Biltmore! Simliarly, Mike had an old friend call "out of the blue" and ask to come and spend some time with us on a football weekend, so Mike invited him to sit in our box. He came in the box and proceeded to tell Mike that the reason he had wanted to visit us was to talk about adoption...he knew our children were adopted. He continued to tell Mike of he and his wife's plans to adopt from Ethiopia...through the same agency we were using! He had NO idea of our new plans to adopt! God crossing our paths...for more encouragement. My parents have also bumped into the Ethiopia "ark" (We now know a little of what Noah felt when others thought he was crazy for building the ark.) Anyway, they were at a board of trustees dinner for Mars Hill College and one couple started sharing how they had just welcomed home twin 4-yr old grandchildren from Ethiopia! (hmmm, Lord...you might really be up to something!)

Not only have we seen God cross our paths with others to encourage us, but in pursing Him through His Word...He has affirmed our hearts over and over again with the Scriptures. We truly feel 'picked up and carried along' by His purposes. And we are more than ever, daily dependant on HIM! A strange, but truly amazing, place to walk. It hasn't always been easy and we have encountered many trials (our children's initial resistance, feeling inadequate, stress of Mike's job, intensified parenting issues, among others...)...yet God continues to 'show up' and give us peace and resolve for the journey. And, we see God growing us and changing us in wonderful ways (individually and as a family) along the way.

In addition to our feeling called to bring home our children from Ethiopia, we believe deeply that God is leading us to be more involved in helping orphans in other ways. We would love to be able to help other families adopt who cannot financially afford to do so (it is VERY expensive!) and to be involved with other efforts to 'care for orphans'. Just as God has 'bumped us into' others adopting from Ethiopia, He has continued to 'bump us into' the Chapmans and their ministry, Shaohannah's Hope. Through our mutual friends, we have remained connected to Steven and Mary Beth and as you know, attended their fundraising weekend in Franklin a week ago.

My prayer to God a few weeks before the Shaohannah's Hope event was, "Lord, if this is NOT of you...if you do not want us to attend for Your purposes, then close the door. Interrupt our plans to go." I certainly knew with Mike's job that interruptions happen...especially with the difficulty surrounding the football program this year. God was so gracious to answer quickly. THAT same day I received our 'random' government-assigned fingerprint appointments: they were in Nashville on the same exact Saturday we would be there (10 miles away) for the SH event...at the only time we could make it and not miss key parts of the events. "Ok, God...I guess You want us to be there." God truly protected our time with Shaohannah's Hope because with the demands on Mike's schedule in starting a football coaching search, our plans could have been easily interrupted! (Not that our enemy didn't try...more on that another time.)

After attending the weekend...Mike and I both said, "This is DEFINTELY where God wanted us to be this weekend." I will blog about that in another post...It was amazing, but a lot to process even now. But I had to get the 'background' out there for the rest of the SH story to make sense. Thus, this mammoth blog. (I'm tired...are you?)

Thank you all for your prayers and encouragement along this path. We certainly couldn't do any of this without the prayers of the saints. Please continue to pray for us to have wisdom, discernment and courage to obey God at each step.

God is IN the details, people!

What do these two things have in common? One is our invitation to the Shaohannah's Hope Fundraiser and the other is our government-appointed time to have our fingerprints done for US Immigration purposes (a.k.a. our adoptions). Read on to find out how they are linked...and how God reminded us again today that HE IS the GOD of EVERY DETAIL!!

For our home study, we have to get our fingerprints done locally (for state) and by the USCIS (Dept. of Immigration). We were told we would get "random" appointments from the USCIS...could be in NC, Nashville or Atlanta. They even might give Mike and I different states/days. Anyway, we got our appointments today in the mail and you won't believe this: They are BOTH in Nashville on Saturday, November 15...the exact day we are already going to be there for the Shaohannah's Hope dinner! God is so good! Just when I start asking (once again...), "Are you SURE, Lord, that we are on the right path with this adoption thing?" He sends ANOTHER billboard for this little dumb sheep to say, "YES, YES, YES!" Isn't that so cool? He is so faithful...even in the smallest of details. I love that!

BTW, we would covet your prayers for the November 14/15 weekend which we will spend learning about the ministry of Shaohannah's Hope (and, as you now know, getting our fingerprints done!). SH is the ministry of Mary Beth and Steven Curtis Chapman that raises funds to assist families with the financial burden of adoption. Of course, that is a passion we share, but we believe God is leading us to take a more active role in promoting and assisting others to be able to adopt. We are essentially attending this weekend to soak up all that is going on and to hear God's leading about what role He would have us play in helping others be able to adopt. So pray for open minds, teachable hearts and listening ears. Thank you!

Thoughts from the Facetious

These are just some random pictures from Madison. Some are cool, some are crazy, some are funny, ans some are just, well,.... You'll just have to see. In the first picture you can tell I am in DEEP thought. In the second, I hate clowns, so I am probably about to smack this guy. Third picture, I am in attack mode. You DO NOT want to see me in that mode. And third and fourth pictures, we go to a drive-trough zoo and this is what we get! Two insane llamaa and a bitten thumb. Yes, it was mine. It might be a little voilent, so it is not shown.Plus it is a little embarrasing. It's like "What happened to your thumb?" "oh, I got bit by a deer" "oh. Ha! ha! ha!" So any ways I hope you like the pictures.b

Thoughts from the Facecious